Before
“Volant Consulting serves small and mid-sized companies,
with twenty years experience in the legal industry. We offer
the flexibility of on-call experts for computer technology
questions and needs without the expense of a full-time systems
staff member. You benefit from years of experience while saving
money.
“Clients call with questions ranging from ‘what
brand of computer should I buy?’ to ‘is there a
service pack for my software to clear up these communications
problems?’ or ‘what type of broadband service should
we use?’
“Companies face the daunting task of keeping up
with technology trends, without the benefit of a full-time
technical staff. Volant Consulting can act as your ‘Part-Time
IS Director,’ helping you to get the most out of your
technology investments.”
Analysis
- The first sentence doesnt even say what they do;
its not until halfway through the second sentence
that you learn theyre in IT support.
- Their unique selling proposition (USP) is buried in the
last line. Did you read that far? I only did when I forced
myself to. In the old “introduction, body, conclusion”
format, the reader doesn’t learn the USP unless they
read right to the end.
- The concept of the part-time IS director is
a good one, but they missed that this part-time person needs
to be a full-time expert.
- Would a non-expert really ask “is there a service
pack for my software to clear up these communications problems”?
The market positioning exercise with Volant revealed that:
- IT systems are critical to the clients’
ability to run their businesses
- clients are afraid of IT failures, want their IT to be
invisible and “just work”, and therefore they
need experts
- clients are willing to make a reasonable investment, but
don’t want excessive costs that would break
the bank or leave them feeling gouged
- Volant’s market niche is firms that are too small
to justify a full-time IT expert.
Thus Volant’s concept of part-time access to
full-time experts.
During the session we got to the meat of this. In the old
days, the law firms who are Volant’s clients had office
managers could act as a part-time computer person. Now things
are too complicated and the firms are scared. They’re
scared of not being able to support what they have, and scared
of IT failing them. They want an IT support firm who can shoot
in, get it fixed, and shoot out. Volant’s clients want
to practice law, and want to hire full-time experts on a quarter-hour
basis. Period.
After
“Volant Consulting provides outstanding IT support
to small and medium firms.
“Many firms dont need full-time IT staff,
but they need the expertise that only full-time IT professionals
can provide.
“Technology has become critical to running a business.
Its no longer okay to hear that the network will be
back up tomorrow. Servers, firewalls, workstations, software,
viruses, and spyware have become too complicated to leave
it to staff who just happen to know computers. Volant’s
consultants are full-time IT experts, who provide however
little, or however much, support you need.”
Results
First, it’s structured in what journalists call a “reverse
pyramid”, with the most potent concise headline at the
top. It’s immediately followed by a secondary (more detailed)
description, that shores up the first hook but with more detail,
then it gets into the specifics.
This is designed so that readers that fit Volant’s niche
market (their ideal customer profile) can identify
with the first sentence, and are compelled to read
on. Then they’re soothed by the credibility Volant
has to solve their problem.
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